Friday, September 11, 2009

Heaven Would Probably Look Like MILK to a Fatass

After a dairy-free dinner at Mcafe de Chaya, Wesley drives quietly over to the bright red milk cartons lighting MILK, a dessert and ice cream shop on Beverly Blvd. in West Hollywood. It's a Saturday night and the fat kid’s heaven—Wesley’s heaven—is bustling. The tension in the car mounts as Wes drives up and down Beverly for a spot, since there’s no parking lot. Finally, the horse finds a spot two blocks away. We began our trek over.

As if he's being pulled in by a strange ice cream force, Wes heads straight past the long line to the ice cream bar case. He quietly signals with his pointed finger against the cold glass case that he wants a chunky, black brick—the Cookies and Cream bar ($4.00).

Like a knowing mother, I nod and he takes a seat. The inner fatass in me begins to take over, too, as I drool over what ice cream sundae or cupcake I should not get. As the threat of a diabetic coma pushes further and further behind my brain, I approach the counter. I grab the Panda's request and for myself... a banana split. Six bucks! Yes, it feeds a family four. So what? We pandas can eat like a family of four.

Throwing out the question of what I should not get, I also order a must-have at MILK: the mini Red Velvet cupcake. A contender to my favorite cupcake shop, SusieCakes, the moist popper is a quick, but lasting delight.
After I take my order, the women happily (almost devilishly) hands over Wes’s treat and a table number. As I went over to our seats where, a smile appears on my boyfriend’s face. He chows. As he’s finishing up, my banana split arrives. "So, I was thinking, in order for you to truly resemble a fatass, you have to consume this with me," I declare. He shamelessly digs in. From a fat kid to a fatass, this is truefatasspandalove. *Cue the clunking of MILK bottles.

Milk in Los Angeles

7290 Beverly Blvd.
Los Angeles, CAn 90036

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  1. SusieCakes is one of my faves too -- love the little frosting squirt down the center! :)

    Course, Milk ain't no scrub either -- I'd take a scoop of their banana dulce de leche any day!

    Glad you enjoyed! Let me know the next time you go -- I live less than a mile away!

  2. There's no love like fatass love! XO!

  3. Oooh I miss MILK and their fatass blondie sundae, but I too need a sugar fiend to help me out on that.

    Did you pandas get a chance to check out nearby Susina, GREAT baked goods -- y'know, for morning after ;)


    sup guys

  5. After reading this post and drooling over the pictures, I think my ass just grew a little:)

    Hugs and Mocha,

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